I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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