She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
