either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
