just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
