Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
