oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
