that's an acceptable place to lick
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
