Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
And then he peed in my hair
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