we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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