I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
