I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
