Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize