Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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