i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
