guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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