god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
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Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
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Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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