If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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