She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
two words...techno handjob
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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