I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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