just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
