I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
