ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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