By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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