There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
