How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
