I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
