I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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