Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Drake has all the answers
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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