Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize