I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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