a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
