we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
