I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
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My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
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Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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