my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
