i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
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I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
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I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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