I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
