Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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