I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
