fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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