just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
