It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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