It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
