I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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