His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
