Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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