I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
