How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
