dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
