how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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