He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
