Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
