UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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