Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
