I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
