Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
