This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize