Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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