Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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