I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i love accidental penises.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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