the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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