I hate all girls vehemently.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
