that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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