Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Still dying that you shit outside
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
