2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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