I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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