when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
