He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
