sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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