Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
